Monday, May 29, 2017

A prayer on Memorial Day

Remembering those who gave it all - Photo courtesy of the U.S. Air Force
Today is Memorial Day. Today we pause to remember the estimated 1.3 million Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, and Coast Guardsmen who have sacrificed their lives since the founding of this nation.

That is 1.3 million Americans whose lives ended well before their time. 1.3 million Americans who missed out on sunsets, barbeques, and watching their children grow up. 1.3 million Americans who gave their last breath for us.

Because of their service and sacrifice, those of us who remain are able to live the lives we currently enjoy. We can do those things that destiny denied to them.

Today, I pray that each of us lives a life that is worthy of their sacrifice.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Stay sober this Memorial Day weekend

Tequila - Photo by Miguel Prado
Here comes the summer drinking season—Memorial Day, June graduations and weddings, Fourth of July, the beach, and barbecues!

What could go wrong?

Plenty, if you don’t have a plan for getting through the summer sober.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, we call the period from Thanksgiving through Christmas and New Year the "Bermuda Triangle" of sobriety—many alkies come in, but not all make it through.

If anything, summer is more dangerous for people in recovery, because there are so many social cues to drink.

What’s a recovering alkie or addict to do?

Here’s some kitchen-tested advice that gets passed along the Twelve Step meetings as holiday periods approach.

No. 1: Have an exit strategy.

Even before you get to the event, whether it’s a barbecue, a wedding, or holiday party, have a plan for leaving as soon as you feel uncomfortable. When everybody’s drinking, the pace of conversation and behavior, in general, seems to suddenly accelerate.

This is an extremely uncomfortable moment for people newly in recovery, and sometimes for people who have been clean and sober a long time.

When that moment arises, you want to have a plan for leaving. Did you come in your own car? Can you call an Uber or a cab? Will public transportation work? Or can you just walk out of there? Determine your exit strategy even before you enter. Don’t stick around once the drinking heats up. You won’t be missed. Everyone else will be too drunk to remember whether you stayed or left.

No. 2: Get a drink.

As soon as you get to the event, go to the bar or beverage area and get yourself a soft drink or juice—and carry it with you everywhere. People are far less likely to offer you a drink, or force a drink on you if you’re already holding a drink.

If people ask you what you’re drinking, tell the truth. The more insistent they get that you should be drinking, the more likely it is that they need a program, too.

If you put your drink down, even for a microsecond, it’s no longer your drink. Go back to the bar or beverage area and get a new one. That’s because alkies have this very slick trick of switching out their beverage "accidentally on purpose."

"I thought it was my Coke!" we exclaim pitifully. "How could I have known that it was actually someone else’s rum and Coke?"

It doesn’t even matter if you are maintaining visual contact with the drink—once it hits the table, it’s no longer yours. Go back and get a fresh one.

No. 3: Remain anonymous.

You don’t have to tell people that you are now sober in Alcoholics Anonymous or clean in another Twelve Step program. It’s nobody’s business. Sometimes, the newly sober tend to "overshare" with people in our lives. You are not in a Twelve Step meeting when you are at a party featuring alcohol (or other substances). You are out in the big, bad world, where no one cares that you are clean.

You do not owe anyone an explanation for your choice not to drink. Your sobriety is, in fact, none of their business. You do not need to share that vital information with anyone. Remember that the last name of every Twelve Step program is "Anonymous."

No. 4: Stay home.

There is no law that says that newly clean and sober people must test their sobriety or abstinence at every family or social event that comes along. If you’re feeling shaky about your recovery, don’t tempt fate. We love to do it, but ultimately, it could be a self-defeating choice.

If you feel that a particular event may be too much of a test for your recovery, make up an excuse and go to a meeting instead. Give your own sobriety a chance.
So there you have it—four ways to stay clean and sober through the often treacherous summer holiday season. Come Labor Day, you’ll be sober as a judge…instead of having to appear in front of one!

Publisher's note: This guest commentary is presented by New York Times bestselling author Michael Graubart has published Sober Dad: The Manual for Perfectly Imperfect Parenting (Hazelden).

Monday, May 22, 2017

Volunteers needed to help Detroiters avoid foreclosure

Home in Warrendale - Photo by Frank Nemecek
Each year thousands of Detroit residents face property tax foreclosure. The United Community Housing Coalition (UCHC) will conduct door-to-door outreach for those Detroit residents facing foreclosure to direct them to resources, payment plans, and counseling services designed to save their home.

We are asking for volunteers to join UCHC and commit to five hours of door to door canvassing to help at risk Detroiters save their home. UCHC will provide all volunteers with training to be able to go out and canvas according to their own schedules.

Previous canvassing experience is preferred, but not required to volunteer. Interested candidates should email Michele Oberholtzer at moberholtzer@uchcdetroit.org by May 26 to sign up.

For more information on UCHC, please visit http://www.uchcdetroit.org/.