Real cause of Detroit's bankruptcy

Since July 18, when Kevyn Orr filed for chapter nine bankruptcy protection on behalf of the City of Detroit and made the Motor City the largest municipality to do so, there has been a plethora of pundits who have offered their own theories about why our city went bust. According to a columnist at Forbes, for example, Detroit's bankruptcy is the result of former President Richard Nixon abolishing the gold standard in 1971. Steve Dibert at MFI-Miami, however, blames a large chunk of it on credit default swaps and the $5 billion that Detroit lost due to banks manipulating the LIBOR index.

Others targets for blame among the vastness of bankruptcy pundits include:

• Corrupt politicians;
• Racism;
• Urban sprawl;
• Poor management;
• Collapse of American manufacturing;
• General neglect from Lansing and/or Washington;
• High taxes/socialism; and
• Strawberry yogurt.

I, however, blame all of this on the Canadians.

Yes, you read that correctly. I place blame for the largest municipal bankruptcy in American history squarely on the maple syrup-loving shoulders of the Canadian people.

After all, Detroit is the only major American city that is north of Canada. This fact makes us especially vulnerable to their insidious manipulation.

I mean, just think of Canada's impact on our fair city. Hockey Night in Canada shows up on televisions throughout the Motor City. Labatt Beer or Molson Canadian are served in almost every bar in Detroit. Plus, there's the fact that almost every Detroiter has at least a few Canadian coins in their pocket, which undermines our economy.

Yes, I blame Canada for all of the problems that one of this nation's great cities is currently experiencing and I'm not the only one who feels this way. Academy Award winning actor, and Detroit Country Day alumnus, Robin Williams obviously agrees with me on this point.